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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690043">The Discovery of Self</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkhow_you_found_me/pseuds/idkhow_you_found_me'>idkhow_you_found_me</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bill &amp; Ted (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Established Relationship, Everyone is Trans, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Self-Discovery, Trans Male Character, set somehwere between ea and bj</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:43:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,522</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkhow_you_found_me/pseuds/idkhow_you_found_me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bill, I’ve been partaking in the most serious process of thinking lately,” Ted confessed, his face sour as if he just finished devouring a whole basket of lemons. Bill gently took Ted’s hands into his. Ted was in total appreciation of that gesture. Small and yet meaningful. Very encouraging. Bill knew exactly how to provide the most resplendent support. </p><p>“What is it dude?” He looked somewhat concerned, what Ted guessed, was only fair after such a beginning of conversation. At least now they could match in their state of worry. Bill and Ted, always together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Discovery of Self</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Beautiful, sunny weather in San Dimas greatly contrasted with thoughts of the most troubling kind that were heavily clouding Ted’s mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ted, just like any other teenager in the world, was in possession of an excessive number of struggles. School, the crushing pressure of being destined to bring world peace, trying to establish if it’s Bill’s turn to sleep at Ted’s or rather Ted’s turn to sleep at Bill’s. Well. There was a slight possibility of some of these being above your average teen struggle level. That was totally besides the point, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The point was that recently Ted started to face a whole other set of difficulties of the most surprising nature. Unexpected disturbances in his everyday life on itself were nothing new at this point, despite all the irony hidden in this statement. However, there was something differentiating the current problem from all the other ones. Something that had never happened to Ted before. He was totally terrified of sharing it with the most cherished boyfriend of his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like Ted didn’t think Bill would be anything but the most understanding in this, or any, really, situation. Ted knew he would. And yet, that knowledge did nothing to reassure him. In many ways, it only made him feel even more odious for staying silent about it for a whole month now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thing was. It wasn’t the matter of fear of the negative reception. Yes, that would be the most non-non-bogus but Ted already established in his head that it wouldn’t happen. What scared him so much was giving it a sense of realness by speaking about it out loud. As long as nobody knew about his problem, it was totally like it didn’t exist at all. Ted wished he could be just as clueless as everybody else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nevertheless, it wasn’t possible. Not now, at least. Not after losing countless nights of sleep over this. And this was exactly why Ted was currently standing before Bill’s house, at eleven p.m., with just enough money for two slushies in his pocket. The front door was locked so he rang the bell two times. As usual, it was Bill who opened the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ted!” Bill exclaimed, his eyes sparking in excitement. They haven’t seen each other for hours now, after all. He started air-guitaring and Ted instantly joined in. “How’s it hangin’, dude?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wanna go to Circle K with me? I can be the one to pay for our slushies this time”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My most excellent companion, you knew exactly what I needed right now.” Bill smiled at him and Ted could feel his face getting hotter. It’s been some time now since they started dating but he still couldn’t get used to being called things like this. It felt the most triumphant, to be loved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What didn’t feel the most triumphant, however, was the awareness of the utelier motive behind their outing. The thought of it was eating Ted for the whole duration of their trip to the petrol station. Bill must have quickly caught on that something was up if his occasional worried glances were anything to go by. Ted squeezed his hand in reasurance each time. They were going to talk about it in just a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bill and Ted sat on their usual spot, each holding a beverage of choice in their right hand. For a moment, nobody said anything, the only sounds breaking the silence being cars driving. After the process of devouring the drinks was completed, Ted was ready to speak. He put down the empty cup and directed all of his attention towards Bill. It was the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bill, I’ve been partaking in the most serious process of thinking lately,” Ted confessed, his face sour as if he just finished devouring a whole basket of lemons. Bill gently took Ted’s hands into his. Ted was in total appreciation of that gesture. Small and yet meaningful. Very encouraging. Bill knew exactly how to provide the most resplendent support. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it dude?” He looked somewhat concerned, what Ted guessed, was only fair after such a beginning of conversation. At least now they could match in their state of worry. Bill and Ted, always together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember when you told me how you are a dude, not a babe?” Bill only nodded, not wanting to disturb the other. Just like Ted stated a very second ago, the most encouraging. So far everything was going stellar. “I’ve noticed that living as a dude is a totally unsatisfactory experience for me. But the prospects of being a babe doesn’t sound the most joycefull either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ted’s shoulders sagged in contempt. Captain Logan was right, there must be something wrong with him. Maybe he shouldn’t have-.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bill managed to stop Ted’s non-non-odious train of thoughts before it completely got out of hand by hugging him firmly. Ted immediately leaned into the embrace, sticking his face into the space between Bill’s neck and shoulder. For a moment, the whole world, along with the time, ceased to exist. There was no past, no future. Only now, here in each other’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while that felt like an eternity but most probably took about no more than 5 minutes, Ted found himself calm again. He considered moving away for a second but ultimately decided against it. He nuzzled against Bill’s neck to reach the height of comfort. Bill, knowing too well what the most outstanding colleague of his was doing, started playing with his hair. Ted almost forgot about what he even had been panicking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dud-, I mean Ted, It’s totally triumphant if you aren’t a dude. Or a babe. You hear me, Ted?” Bill tightened the hug again. Ted was almost sure he was about to cry but the reasoning behind it left him clueless. “You are still the most excellent without being any of these, okay? You just have to be you. That’s it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ted wasn’t crying. He was not. Just. Sniffing a little. Nothing serious or worth noting. With a tear or two escaping his eyes. Okay, no. He was fully sobbing at this point. Ted had no idea how much he needed to hear those words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s totally cool, the most esteemed partner of mine. I’m here with you.” Bill let the silence take over for a second. Perhaps there was a way of helping Ted in this perplexing discovery of self. Bill kissed his companion on the head. He had an idea how to do just that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know how I started visiting the library when I realised I might not be a babe, right?” A low hum near his ear, “I found that I could be a dude, however there were also saying that they are neither of those and it’s the most bodacious too. You want to go there to read about all of this?” A very excited nod, “That's stellar, Ted. We can go tomorrow if you’d like..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No way, dude! I totally had no idea it was in the realm of possibility. You brought some non-non-non-egregious news to me. We should totally go there.” Ted was able to find his voice again. Everything was always so easy with Bill. Despite just being done with crying, Ted could feel his heart swelling with emotions once more. He quickly kissed Bill on both of his cheeks and air-guitared. Now, much better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes way! I'm gonna pick you up at noon and later eat dinner at my place. Missy made an oath to prepare the most unrivalled meal.” Ted happiness was, as per usual, the most effortless to get affected by. With his smile brighter than a sun and blush apparent on his face, Ted simply looked too dazzling like this. Bill couldn’t help but kiss him on the nose. Ted’s blush became three shades darker. Stellar. Bill started air-guitaring and Ted joined right in. “Oh, I have a question of the utmost importance, can I still call you a dude, Ted?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know yet, dude. It’s still totally new to me.” Ted's face became sour again. Being now in a position to choose things like this sounded like a lot of responsibility- something Ted historically, in every sense of this word, hadn't been adequate at. "Right now it brings me rather bogus thoughts."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bill nodded sincerely, totally understanding the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem, my most treasured pardner.” Bill ginned wildly, forgetting about the supposed seriousness of this moment in less than a second. He was used to calling Ted one, however that didn’t mean things couldn’t change. That scored him another smooch, this time on the lips. “We can also look for some new ways to address you. That way nobody will think you're a dude when I talk about you. I think people called them neon pronouns.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That's the most triumphant idea, Bill. I've never been this excited at the thought of going to the library. Or at all, really.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck yeah. I think you could totally rock even the most neon of pronouns, Ted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ted giggled at that. Everything was always so easy with Bill. But nothing could be easier than loving him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading, i hope you liked it!!! If you want to talk, hit me up @idkhow_you_found_me on ig or @idkhow-you-found-me on tumbrl</p></blockquote></div></div>
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